This is a long one..

Vättern, Jönköping. By me.

 
Hey there!
How are you all? It's been a while!
I'm doing alright, thanks for asking.
 
Lately I've been very busy, with my job and attempting to go to school when I don't work.
On top of that, the household and cat need attention too, so not that much to blog about, and not that much time to actually blog..
But I am here now!
 
Don't think I've forgotten about this 'project', I've been thinking about this and my Twitch-page for a while.
So, let's start there.
 
Twitch
I've been trying to stream at the end of last year, but my pc can't take it at the moment.
My CPU just isn't strong enough which makes the stream horrible to watch because it can't keep up with the encoding, no matter what I do.
However, I do still want to stream.
Very badly.
I am so sorry for trying to start it every time, people coming in, trying to support and then watch the stream go to shit because my hardware can't cope. It doesn't make me feel good either.
In fact, it does give me a hopeless feeling most of the time.
''Why would I still try, after all this time? It's been almost 4 years since I started my channel, and haven't been able to keep it ''active'' for two years now.''
At the same time I want to, I want to stream so badly, I want to build a community with people that I enjoy talking to/hanging out with. But in order to get that, you have to work for it.
With my current hardware, as stated above, this is made impossible.
How do we fix this?
I will try to save money where I can so I can get a CPU that won't bork every time I load OBS.
And then I will dedicate as much time as I can to streaming.
I hope there's still people out there who are willing to support, or who secretly,silently wait for me to make yet another return.
And please-- do believe me when I say I apologise for letting you down, if you are there.
I let myself down.
What I'd really like to do, eventhough I aim to be a variety streamer, I'd like to focus on the Sims 4, since this is one of the games I play the most, and it's nice and easy to continue..
I also still want to play variety games, since there are a couple of games I'm looking forward to playing once I get them!
So it'd most likely be the Sims during the week, and the ''variety game'' during the weekend.
 
But that's the plan for now.. I mean it's nice to come up with it, but as long as I don't have a new CPU none of this is happening. I hope I'll have on in like 3 maybe 4 months?
I hope.
 
 
In other news, we're getting the cat castrated on Tuesday.
Which I am so thrilled about.
No more worries about him getting overly jealous, or him starting to pee around in the appartment (which I'm so scared of), and he'll be less active and get fatter :3.
 
Something a little less positive.
I lost my job today.
It's not because of the fact that I was doing poorly, or that I got into a fight.
My boss simply had to let me go because of the fact that he had more employees than he could handle.
And unfortunately-- last in, first out.
But I am not bitter about it.
I came into this country knowing it would be difficult to get a job immediately.
I got one after a month and am very grateful for it.
The thing is, the world is a shit place, and you always need to put yourself first.
I understand that.
I am grateful for the experience and the fact that I have 3 months of work experience in a country I've been living in for 4 months.
This does make me able to go to school more often to improve the rate I learn Swedish at.
I also get to have more free time, and I get to polish my nails again.
 
I mean, I started saying this is a little less positive, but it's not the end of the world.
It's very easy to turn everything into a problem, even when it doesn't have to be one.
I'm not homeless, I'll still have food and a warm shower.
We will just be able to spoil ourselves a little less, untill I find something else.
Which I know I will.
 
When I moved here something inside me changed.
My ''I'll make it either way, and I'll figure it all out''-attitude became 1000 times stronger.
So yeah, we will make it, and we will figure it all out, even if it might take some time.
 
Soooooooooooo, that's the post for now, I'm sure it's too long the way it is haha.
I'll be seeing you next time! :)
 
 

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