I have returned.

I'm sorry for going AWOL, but I am back- kind of, sort of, yeah..
So a while back I explained why and how on my Twitch stream, I figured I should post it on this blog too.
Basically, long version short, it didn't work out between me and my (now) ex.
After deciding splitting up was the best thing to do before we'd start to hate each other I moved back to Amsterdam.. where I've been for the past 2 weeks now.
I literally haven't sat still ever since, which is also why this blog post is late- then again, what else is new?
We arrived on monday evening, and tuesday afternoon I got a job, which I started the day after.. on wednesday.

Ever since I've just been running around trying to take care of everything, which isn't easy.
I only have sundays and mondays off (for now), which makes doing things with the municipality a pain in the butt.. and now it's the easter weekend too, so even today I can't get important shit done.
Either way, this job is basically until September because I hope to get accepted into uni to study International Business.
Which I find incredibly exciting! So I keep my fingers crossed :)
I'll make sure to post a full on update on how the journey went etc soon, whenever I have the time and energy to do so. I haven't had a proper sleep since I came back, I keep waking up every 2 hours and it's draining me.
But now atleast you have some kind of idea of what's going on and why and how and where and such.

Alright, Damsel out.

The promised update

Uhh hi!
It's been two weeks since I promised I'd give you an update, and I tried, but life got in the way.
Or rather my new/old lifestyle got in the way. Sorry about that.

As I touched upon in the last ''update'', I am officially unemployed for about 2 weeks now.
This means that my entire rhythm changed and it took me some time to find a schedule I feel comfortable with.
The job was only for the summer, so I was surprised that it lasted until October, but luckily I've already been invited back for the next season which will be from April on, so it's not that far away. I have all the faith in the world that we can make it off one salary, we survived last year too. I will however be looking for a part time job.

Which brings me to what fills my days now that I have all the time in the world.
I still get up as early as 6 in the morning, the cat doesn't let me sleep in anyways.
It's also because sleeping until 10 or 11 feels like such a waste of time now that I've woken up at 6 for such a long time. Anyways, after that I usually start cleaning, get ready and start streaming.

Yes you read that right.
I stream again.
Basically fulltime.

Off my last salary I made sure I bought the parts needed for me to be able to stream properly.
I bought a new motherboard, cpu and some new ram.. and let me tell you, it's changed EVERYTHING.
I no longer feel like streaming is a cause of stress, because I constantly have to look over to my second screen to make sure everything runs smooth, to make sure I don't have encoding issues, freezing issues, lag issues.
I can just enjoy it, and that's what I've been doing from Monday until Friday.
It's enabled the option for me to stream whatever I want, whenever I want, without having to worry about anything other than enjoying my time, and it's been going so well.
I get a steady amount of followers every day, and my viewers are going up too. It makes me so happy to know that it's actually going somewhere, and with so much ease now that my computer is working properly. I honestly feel so blessed and happy with the little community we've managed to build so far and I'd like to thank all of you who are in that community. I love you guys so much and thank you so so much for supporting me <3

All the positivity that has come from the streaming has encouraged me to finally make another big step towards even more happiness.
We've been planning it for a while but I feel like I am 100% ready to make the next step into becoming healthy.
As soon as I can I will sign up to a gym which is approximately 10 minutes away from us. I will be working my ass off to turn into the best version of me, the healthiest version of me, the happiest version of me. I plan to go every morning from Monday until Friday at 6 AM. It'll fill up some of my time, and it'll give me loads of energy to continue the rest of the day with. I mean I am awake at that time anyways, might aswel make the most of it.
Go hard or go home, or rather go hard and then go home to do more things.

I am super excited about these changes and I can't wait.
I know I said I'd post the goals I set for myself for the fall season, but that will have to wait a week or two! (I mean it this time!)

Thanks for reading my incredibly long and probably boring update, but it got me excited.. so there..

Alright, well for now,

Update time

It's been a while since there's been a written update.
I mean I do post pictures every now and then, with some relevant quotes or lyrics or whatever.
I mean, relevant to me, to how I feel, or what I think of, or something that's just stuck in my head.
I have that sometimes.. just like my enter key, things get stuck.
Which can be somewhat difficult or annoying to deal with, but I'll have to deal with it either way, just like my enter key.

Anyways, I'm rambling.. sort of, am I? I don't know.
Right, update time.

It's been rather sunny here in Jönköping so we have been out and about last weekend.
There was a market, which was surprisingly small, we got a laser for the cat.. it didn't work..
Saturday we're going to a bigger market, and I'm very excited.
My mom and I used to go to the market a lot and I miss that.
I miss the screaming ''Amsterdammers'' who are trying to bribe you into buying all of their delicious fruit and veggies. I miss looking for fabric for that blanket,skirt or shirt we wanted to make so badly.
I miss the random flows of inspiration, the smells, the sounds.. I miss Amsterdam.
That doesn't mean I do not like it here though.
But now I'm not walking down the road after getting off the bus, not turning left, then right, then straight on until I reach my house, see my dog, my cat and my dad sitting on the couch for nearly 8 months.. You start to miss it.
I start to miss it.

Luckily, it will be roughly 2 months until I will walk that road, see that gate, hear my dog bark and my dad cough and smell my moms cooking.

Once again, I am sorry, I am rambling.

We also went for a walk at the beach last weekend. I say beach, but it is the shore of the second biggest lake in Sweden. I'm not sure if you call those beaches. I do.
We also went to ''Huskvarna Utsikten'' which is basically a mountain from where you can see the entirety of Huskvarna.
It was lovely, and I can't wait to go there more often. It's great for your stamina aswell, especially since we don't have a car and I will have to walk there. It's almost a work out.
Afterwards we went to the place where I took the picture in my previous post, Vattenledningsområdet, which was stunning. We had fika by the lake with Christian, his grandmother and her friend.With our hunger satisfied we took a walk around the lake and it was very refreshing.

I should really go on more walks.

I also started working last monday, which I enjoy very much.
It gets me out of the house, which is great, because there were times where I didn't want to leave the house.
And so I didnt.
For two weeks.
Which wasn't great.

I'm happy to learn new things, especially since it's so different from my previous job.
When it comes to specs you need to treat everything with care, but with my current job I need to actually put weight onto things, force things, fight with things. It's great, and once again, almost a work out. Although I do believe it will become a work out, seeing as I'm only doing the lighter stuff as of now.
I'm planning on getting a new gym subscription too, just a short one though, and I'll need to find a gym I like first.

I'm also going to save for a new camera, so that I have even more reasons to go on walks here.
I will be taking so many pictures, and hopefully some better ones too!

I think that's it for now, I'll probably post some more pictures this week, and I'll hopefully make even more.
Thanks for reading my semi-ramble and I'll be seeing you next time.