publicerat i Allmänt, Holland, Photographs, TheNetherlands, Updates;

In my last post I've spoken about how everything seemed to go well, and it did, for a little while.

I've wanted to focus on myself, getting better, feeling better and doing better. I had decided to take the month off and pursue these goals, however things didn't go as planned.

On my first day off I visited the doctor because I had been having pain near my lower abdomen and thought my birth control might have moved (I have an IUD). She examined me and decided that the pain I was having was too much for what she had actually done. She also couldn't get a 100% clear sight of my IUD so she decided to send me to the gynaecologist for an emergency appointment. The gynaecologist performed an echo and found a 5.5 cm cyst on my left ovary. This apparently can be a side effect of IUDs, but doesn't happen often. The thing with cysts is that once they become a certain size, it can become pretty dangerous. And I was in the danger zone. She told me I wasn't allowed to leave the place by myself and that I had to go to the hospital immediately and that there was a big chance I had to stay there for emergency surgery.

I was terrified. I have never been hospitalized and never had surgery, so the thought of that alone sent me into tears. Luckily my dad was available and took me to the hospital, and I was able to reach my boyfriend who also came over.

As we arrived at the ward, which confusingly was named the pregnancy ward (and included delivery rooms), we had to wait for a little while because all the rooms were occupied. First I got to speak with the aspiring gynaecologist so she knew what happened and what I've told the other doctors. This took about 30 minutes, as my dad was waiting outside for my boyfriend to arrive. And I mean.. this is not something you want your parents or SO to be around. The actual gynaecologist arrived after and this was the third time today I had people looking straight into me, which is an experience in itself, and not one you become more comfortable with the third time. She determined that the cyst was actually 6 cm but that it wasn't malicious. She explained to me that one of the dangers of these cysts are that once they become a certain size, they can turn around their axis because they become top heavy. What that means is that the bloodflow in your ovaries is cut off and it can cause your ovary to die off.

This is not something you want.
They took some cultures and also, for the second time in the day I had to pee in a cup, even though I wasn't allowed to drink anything anymore in case I had to go to surgery. After sitting there for I think a half an hour or so, as they were debating on what to do next, the two ladies came in. ''We are going to send you home'' they said. ''It looks like it is in a good position right now, but if it starts to twist, or hurt really bad, we want you to call us immediately.'' I was overjoyed by the fact that I didn't have to stay for surgery, but also terrified of there being a possibility that it would happen anyway. ''We will also need to schedule an appointment for a check-up because it is important that we keep track of it.''

I wasn't allowed to do anything. I wasn't allowed to lift anything, to walk long distances, to do anything. So the first week and a half of my ''time off-adventure'' I was basically bedridden.

The second week I had to go for my check up and as the cyst appeared, it also disappeared. I was completely fine and didn't need a second check up or anything, the cyst entirely vanished!
However, the threat of surgery wasn't gone, as I still had to visit the dentist.
Anyone who knows me, knows that I am terrified of dentists. So that was the second hurdle of the month.

The check-up itself wasn't that bad. Until they told me I have a cavity in my wisdom tooth and that my wisdomteeth are essentially growing horizontal instead of vertical which means they will cause my regular molars to have cavities if they aren't removed. And ofcourse, because I am so lucky, this could only be done by surgery.
I am now scheduled to have my oral surgery on April 30th and am dreading it so much.
Other than that they just cleaned my teeth and they were fine. Pretty neat for 10 years of not visiting a dentist.
I am super lucky though that I have a boyfriend who takes me places to take my mind off of things, so we've visited some parks, taken some walks, watched some wild animals and visited Germany ever since.
Now, since all of this is going to cost quite a bit, I will have to start looking for a job earlier than expected since I also didn't manage to drive multiple times a week as planned. It's okay, maybe I can plan a week or two off after I've moved out and try to relax a bit more then.

Here are some snaps from ''Natuurpark Lelystad'' where we've seen wild horses, wild boars, some bizons (no pictures) and some other things! I have also included a video of three young wild boars playing at the bottom of this post!